禁断の花園

2010-11-07T23:22:00.002+08:00

if you still read this blog, you are either a stalker or probably someone i haven't talked to or met in a long while who misses me (: i probably miss you too!

i blog sometimes at http://joldemort.livejournal.com now, though i can't bring myself to shut this blog down completely either because it's pretty and has a pretty name (:

2010-10-04T23:44:00.001+08:00

There is harp part in A Weekend in New York! I hear it!

oh. Turandot also have!! aiya so sad can't play it. It's nicee.

2010-09-24T02:43:00.001+08:00

It's SO hard to break out of old habits ):

2010-09-15T01:08:00.001+08:00

1. my house is turning into a dumpster cos my parents aren't home!

2. i am so epic-ly poor, i couldn't draw money today cos there was only $10.40 left in my bank account?!?!

2010-09-05T10:57:00.002+08:00

Today is The-Start-Of-All-The-Trouble-And-Subsequent-Sadness Anniversary Day.

Because I have dementia...

2010-08-28T23:00:00.004+08:00

Today is a milestone in my piano-playing life. I have arrived at the greatest conclusion that: I am not going to practise piano anymore.

Yes, you read that right! I am not going to practise piano anymore, the reason being I am going to start making music. My greatest psychological barrier in practising piano all these years was the chore that such a task entails. Playing the piano seems like such a mechanical action, you can only hit the piano keys, and the hammers, well, hammer the strings. There is direct nuance you can achieve from, say, vibrating a string/air flow to achieve vibrato for increased tension or controlling bowing to control the sound you make. And percussion being the 'effects' section, it sort of IS the point to be dramatic, something I always found extremely hard to achieve on such a mechanical instrument as the piano.

(Yes, I know NOW that different touches on the piano can achieve a variety of tone colours and a piano can be as expressive as any other string or wind instrument; but hey, I only learnt of this in the past two years and I have been playing the piano for about 13 years now, so...)

I am no longer going to practise piano! I am not even going to practise making music. Instead, each time I play, I should in fact BE making music. Every time I touch the piano now, I must have the intention of creating music. No more hammering away at the piano pointlessly anymore! From now on, I shall only make music (: and if I like what I hear, I will be more likely to play more often, and my playing will in turn improve! Without needing to practise! :D Hah.

2010-08-15T23:32:00.003+08:00

from fb,

your fortune cookie of the day:

"It is much wiser to take advice than to give it."

speaking to people who actually know what they want to do for the future makes me wonder - what do i want to do in future? i know i've always had the mentality that i'll just figure along the way, something will work out in the end, but don't people usually plan these stuff? what if i graduate without knowing what i want to major in or work as and end up not being qualified enough or knowing what sort of work to look for?

well, anyway i've realised that this is something i need to decide during the 4 years i am going to study!

2010-08-12T00:47:00.003+08:00

i just thought i should document my daily activities since i have such a knack of forgetting what i do/what happens in my life. after all, that's what people use blogs for, isn't it?

bear with my long-winded story-telling, i haven't indulged in so so long.

11/08, Wednesday
visited nus again! was originally supposed to meet shusi at 10 at clementi but woke up at 920 (what's new) so changed the meeting time to 11 and reached at 1120 (again, what's new). visited pauline at the dentistry block where students are required to dress formally and felt slightly out of place in a romper with shus. went for lunch at the science canteen (uni food is ridiculously cheap) then managed to rush over on time (miraculously! by the way i met mijie at the bus stop and she happily hopped on the bus with me then discovered it was the wrong bus, landiao!) and crashed social work lecture with aly and nick and discovered in half an hour that that was my life's true calling! alas i cannot change course nor school now, but let's not harp on the issue. after nick and aly left i was undecided whether to crash sociology lecture with hui yan or visit siyi at science block with shusi, decided to go science block but they were alr in the lecture with no space for me so i wandered around like a lost soul and finally settled down at a bus stop to... wait for it, wait for it... read a book. and finally left the school when shusi called me to tell me that she and paul were leaving. didn't manage to see many people after all, one million people had no lessons today (waner, shuhying, even dawn) and i'm wondering if i should just crash all the social work lectures from now on HAHA. yupyup.

10/08, Tuesday
went to expo to set up stall. met the new girl, who is 2 years older only but looks slightly more mature than that. she's supposed to work for the slimming company, but since she has a professional make-up cert was sent here to promote the make-up for the first few days, though i will only work with her on one day. (i suspect this sentence is grammatically wrong) she has very long hair, a red blackberry, and seems like a nice person.

after that went esplanade to watch the j2 music class' concert with thomas and met a ton of juniors there (as is the usual case when it comes to concerts). was pleasantly surprised to find out jerald was playing as i haven't seen him in one century. the juniors are so much better at their music than my batch ever was (and maybe can be). all the pianists own and bonnie is practically legendary. and the finale was the best. after loitering and making noise and laughing and playing around (as is the case whenever a bunch of band peeps gather anywhere), took the circle line home! and here comes the most epic part of this entire post:
i had half a cup of subway drink in my bag because i ate subway for dinner and the drink was ice lemon tea+100 plus, and somehow or other i managed to spill all half cup onto one leg IN THE MRT. i was sitting there and suddenly realised one leg was wet. after i dunno how long? my bag was dripping and i put it on the floor and made a puddle. I AM EXTREMELY APOLOGETIC TO SMRT. the most ironic part is... this happened because i DIDN'T drink my drink (on the mrt)! everything was wet thankfully except my wallet and my leopard (!!!) AND MY PHONE WAS LUCKILY IN MY POCKET. okay end of epic embarrassing moment.

i forgot to mention, thomas got a single red rose for his girlfriend! i played a part in smuggling the flower past her as she was manning the entrance!

09/08, Monday
National Day is the new Collin Day because we spent both last year's and this year's with him! went to the asian civilisation musuem in SWELTERING heat, but the good thing was we managed to see alot of the mobile column! (as i later found out, thomas was actually in one of the ambulances!)

erica&collin: did you see the bridge? the bridge just went by!
me: oh.. no, didn't see... eh but i show you the cool photo i took! like some land submarine! -shows photo-
erica&collin: THAT IS THE BRIDGE!

HAHAHA.

and after visiting a certain delicacy, i went home to watch the national day parade! :D this year's one was not bad, better than last year's! THE BEST PART was when kit chan came out to sing home!!! best ndp song everrr.

oh and i kept wondering if yunsong/my seniors in saf band were playing.

(notice the accounts are getting shorter, my memory is starting to fail me!)

08/08, Sunday
went for paintball in the morning WITH MY CLASS. (somehow the company seemed to be of great concern?!??) was supposed to meet at khatib mrt at 1030, i LEFT HOUSE at 1030, and cabbed (what's new). what was really new was, i wasn't the latest!! HAHA. and i discovered i am really really REALLY bad at tactical/strategical/action games like this! and because i was having a weak back day, i squat for too long then cannot stand up properly! couldn't dart around fast enough or hide properly and sustained many many shots! i think i was the most wounded that day! obtained a grand total of three bruises. my team lost both times, maybe cos we were outnumbered 5 to 6, or maybe because they had a lousy player in me! (no wonder i keep dying like nobody's business playing Blackshot) i shall stick to shooting targets/water ballons with pellet guns and puzzle games :D

afterwards went to the cathy for astons! queued for i dunno how long, but it was worth the wait for we got an epic table for 15 people! after that we walked to plaza sing to get bubble tea! went to somerset cos we wanted to go kbox, but the prices were ridiculous (sing until 9pm for $30?!? 1.is damn ex 2.who want to stay until 9pm 3.is damn ex) so we went to play pool in the end <3 i need more practice. alot alot more.

07/08, Saturday
after piano, went to bugis to eat with my sis. she originally wanted to eat kfc, but i wanted to eat dongdaemun first, but after we ate that we were too full so we didn't eat kfc! ate dubiously clay-coloured hokkaido ice cream after that!
went home and found my mum asleep, so plopped down on the floor and decided to join her. slept sitting up with my head leaning forward on the bed, dunno how long i slept, and woke up to find myself with a numb (and afterwards slightly swollen) lip cos my teeth were pressing into it for too long. probably killed all the cells.
though i was supposed to pack my room that afternoon, both me and my mum were too lazy! after waking up i read a book. received a missed call and sent a msg to enquire but never got a reply. ah well. i don't bear grudges.

alright, i spent one hour writing this! i need to go and sleep now, i have work at 10 tomorrow! goodnight!

2010-08-05T23:45:00.004+08:00

Waiting for far too long has caused me to forget my original resolve/ determination/dedication.
What state of mind was I in exactly then that I decided to defy my life's path all paved out in front of me? Something I decided years ago but took only a moment to change?
(An idea is like a virus, it takes shape in your mind and grows and grows.)
My life's calling must be disappointed in me, defeated by foolish pride.
But whatever it is, it is too late and a waste of energy to regret what cannot be changed now.
All I can do, and must do, is brave my way through; I will come, and I will conquer.

2010-08-02T04:32:00.003+08:00

sleeping at 430 for the third time! -.- i can practically feel myself ageing! gosh, sleep is so important.

finally finished the press releasezxzx! not mighty satisfied but at least it's done! actual total writing time was under 2 hours. -.-

2010-07-29T01:46:00.003+08:00

attempting to write *stuff* for my aunt now... but how about the website www.cristallelab.com doesn't even exist! i have no details on the products and i'm supposed to write headings for website banners that are supposed to entice customers, and... wait for it wait for it, i hate writing about stuff i know nothing about! okay la, my aunt gave me simple lines to improve on, but seriously!

"It takes only 1 hour to speed up your skin’s collagen production."

I changed it to:
"Speed up your skin's collagen production in just 1 hour!"

it's so landiao i want to implode! okay, i know i changed it into active voice which is very important, and added an exclamation mark for emphasis (wow, so impressive!), but seriously, doing the same thing for more than 5 times is just so... lame ): and i can't add anything else becuase i know nothing other than what is given! (all the one-liners like that) so basically i am paid to rephrase :/ makes me feel so inept!

okay, at least the other thing is a press release!

on another note, i want to review the last episode of gong xin ji! will be back to edit.

2010-07-26T01:04:00.002+08:00

Inception is like the new Despicable Me! Obviously not that the shows are alike in any way, but for me to watch again and again! (: it was quite a long movie! like 2.5 hours, watch until neck pain! And i concentrated very hard cos everyone said it's a must-think-more show, then at the end what happened!! I WANTED TO THROW THE NACHOS AT THE SCREEN!!! okay shall not reveal any spoilers because it is a spectacular show, go and watch it!

And! I have discovered that my Joy Luck Club is YELLOWING AROUND THE EDGES! D:

2010-07-20T22:29:00.001+08:00

1. i just saw shinee's new mv and... OMG. DID. KEY. SHAVE. OFF. HALF. HIS. HEAD.
and TAEMINNIEEEEEEEEEE is soooooooo cute~~!!! WHY DOES ONEW HAVE CENTRE PARTING OMG. jonghyun looks beng as usual (which is not a bad thing) and minho is minho (:

2. OMG i am either schizophrenic or else have a SERIOUS case of dementia, i just agreed to meet aly exclusively early tmr AND take up char's driving offer at the same time!!

3. DAISY IS ON YOUTUBE!!! <3 <3 <3 -throws confetti and rejoices-

2010-07-17T03:11:00.003+08:00

read some old stuff, and realised: i totally haven't changed at all.

and to think all along i thought i'd learnt many lessons along the way. turns out it was always stuff i always knew in my heart, but just conveniently forgot whenever the situation turned dire and hence ended up making bad decisions. and on hindsight i always seemed to 'learn a lesson', when actually i just recalled whatever i already knew before i forgot them in a delirious state of mind.

it is hard to kick old habits. which is why i have a knack of doing the same things over and over again.

2010-07-17T00:00:00.003+08:00

came back from mahler (though sso wasn't very good) which left me absolutely exhausted and scrambled my mind.

too tired to appreciate gong xin ji at the moment!

2010-07-14T03:42:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i envy a little those people who actually live with some direction in life.

Then i think, there's nothing wrong with how i lead my life anyway. (:

too lazy for a life-update post

2010-07-09T01:30:00.002+08:00

1. You're trapped in a room for 3 days with your ex, what do you do?
Go crazy trying to act normal.

2. You're stuck in an elevator with the person you've fallen the hardest for, what happens?
Go crazy trying to act normal.

3. The celebrity you love the most offers to marry you, as long as you don't talk about the marriage to any of your current friends or family members. Secret wedding.. Do you marry them?
wooyoungie <3 ):

4. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Cry. Please don't.

5. If you ever want to live to see another day, you're forced to snort cocaine. Do you do it?
At least i don't die, and i can always quit.

6. If you woke up in one of the Saw movies, do you think you could survive?
I think so? Haha win psycho-ness with even more psycho psycho-ness. Can one la.

7. When is the last time you were in a photobooth?
Oh not that long ago. One month plus i think.

9. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided seeing them?
All the time.

10. Do you know anyone with such a terribly annoying voice that you can't even stand it?
Erm. Considering I can stand my own...

11. On average, what do you think you cry about the most?
Tv shows -.-

12. Do you think your best friends love you?
Yes :D

13. Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot to you?
My mum <3

14. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
I used to think yes, then I changed my mind to no, but I changed my mind again to yes.

15. Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?
I hope so.

17. Where will you be next summer?
In school/hostel/home/jurong point/j8.

18. Are you waiting for anyone's call right now?
Not really.

19. Do you secretly like someone?
I sure hope not.

20. Do you announce when you have to pee?
We have bladders!

21. Who was the last person you cried to?
Err just now when I watched tv? So my whole family?

22. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
If I concentrate on doing it.

23. Do you trust people easily?
Yathink?

24. Do you give out second chances easily?
On occasion.

25. Do you smile a lot?
Sure :D

26. How do you feel about change?
Do not like.

27. Have you ever cried from being so mad?
yupyup. Did I mention I cry easily?

28. Have you ever made anyone laugh?
:D

29. Are you happy?
:D

30. If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
Can can :D

31. The person you're in love with plans to travel around the world, what do you do?
Err what can I do.

2010-06-15T12:59:00.003+08:00

i kinda forgot i had a blog =.=

genting trip debrief!
random observation: if the hallmark of taiwan lianz is 'orh' and pout, then the hallmark of malaysian lianz is they all have the same side-fringe-with-a-pin-in-it!

i have a major house of the dead 3 craving, but fate prevents me from playing it! like in the arcade in genting there was the game and it was on okay! BUT THEN THE CARD CANNOT TAP!!! just for that game only know! haiz. ):

and i am going paralysed T.T my back, my back! T.T

2010-05-23T00:29:00.002+08:00

today me and shusi waylaid/ambushed a random rj boy to ask him when is r project! after that we felt random and strange. hahaha a rather fun endeavour!

2010-05-16T02:57:00.002+08:00

even though i am no longer in band and not even in school, i've been spending an insane amount of time with my juniors! :D i miss yall and love yall very very much! ^^

i've been thinking i really want to continue playing in a band! but where?? hm.

oh wells, at sleepover with US now! (: i feel like i haven't met us for a really long time!
(i just blog and act like we're not all here now (: )

2010-05-09T23:36:00.002+08:00

oh yes. i am here to announce with aplomb:

MILLEFEUILLE HAS BEEN REVIVED! :D

and by that, i mean my mini fun-sized com (:

anticipate an increase in my online life! i might even start going on msn again!
and in order to have a table on which i can use my computer, i embarked on the impossible task of packing my room yesterday... and slept at the miraculous hour of 4am!! okay not that impossible, i've done 6am before haha.
(in case you were wondering, no i am not done with packing. i think only 5%???)

and i started watching fairy tail! :D it's just as i expected~ :D :D
hm should i watch it or read it? watch it or read it?
and i still need to read rave!
and watch xia yi zhan xing fu!

ah well, now that i have my own com again i can work hard on all these :D

2010-05-02T05:48:00.001+08:00

that day i was thinking and i thought i'd stopped blogging cos of A levels, then i rmbed it was cos my com spoilt -.-

i have no idea why i am still awake at this unearthly hour.
my hair will probably all drop out and i'll need concealer for my dark eye circles O_O

my right eyelid has been twitching for days, it's supposed to be a good thing right? but i have this sense of foreboding instead :/

today i saw a guy whose shirt said something like this:
i don't finish anything
i don't finish anythin
i don't finish anythi
i don't finish anyth
i don't finish anyt
i don't finish any
i don't finish an
i don't finish a
i don't finish
i don't finis
i don't fini
i don't fin
i don't fi
i don't f
i don't
i don'
i do
i d
i

cool, right?

i keep forgetting that i keep meaning to play wonderking.

books with good concepts and good writing but crappy endings infuriate me.

i just finished "hush, hush", which was quite a nice read except for the anticlimax crappy ending ):
quick summary of story: vulnerable girl meets dangerous guy (who by the way is not entirely human) who seems like he might want to kill her but in the end falls in love with her instead and saves her from people who do who to kill her.
sounds familiar?
at least said guy is not a vampire.
he's a fallen angel <3
the whole front part of the book was good, i stayed up two nights reading it, but before the author built up to The Climax she just fizzled out -.-
when i finished the last page and found the next page empty i was like "huh???"
i wanted to smash something -_-
ohwell, this is her first novel so i guess it's commendable anyway!
returned the book alr so can't really rmb but i think the author is called Becca Fitzpatrick(sp?)

or maybe it was just cos i read this book after reading a Dean Koontz book, and because Dean Koontz is simply too ownage whoever follows after pales in comparison! hahah. Dean Koontz is a genius!

and apparently... THERE IS A NEW ARTEMIS FOWL BOOK OUT omgomgomg i am so touched i am about to cry :D :D :D

and i absolutely love t-ara <3 and snsd too ^^

though it ended it's not over.

i didn't know it would still hurt.

i wanted to say this somewhere, but didn't feel like announcing it to the whole world on facebook, and remembered i have this thing called a Blog.

2010-04-21T21:31:00.003+08:00

circle line is far too crowded! i miss the days where it was exclusive D:
(like personal service for rj kids who live in serangoon!)

and can people not act like everyone else is not also getting out at bishan and insist on squeezing their way out like the train doors close in two seconds!?!?
(and now we miss taiwan just a little.)

--
on a sidenote... i think i've figured out this strange feeling i'm feeling and it's called "unhappy". ):

2009-11-09T23:40:00.003+08:00

~~my heart seriously stopped beating this time.~~

nonono, must not be like this.

as jaebeom himself said before - study hard!

so himnae!!!

2009-11-09T17:08:00.004+08:00

i cannot be a weak-willed fan!

from now on, i must not visit 2pm's official site, must not visit their youtube official page, must not search their name on any search engine!!!

hello all my friends! if you do not know who is 2pm, please do not go search! if you already know, you know why i am boycotting and please help = don't search them or watch their new songs or teasers! T__T

(i guess old stuff are okay..?)

they're releasing album tmr... T__T
and A levels starting tmr...
can't do any maths T___T *strangled cry*

am i allowed to listen to their new album...?
am i strong-willed enough not to??? >.<

i feel horrible making such a decision ): ): ):
i love you guys, i really do! <3

2009-11-08T11:08:00.002+08:00

nope. as soon as the other half of the globe has woken up... the views ballooned...
80-90k views!?!? T__T

now let's go and watch their old teasers and old mvs like crazy so the new ones will have lesser in comparison...

i must be crazy >.<

2009-11-07T20:03:00.003+08:00

when i saw that the 2pm teasers had only 300+ views... i was secretly happy... keke.
people are boycotting? :3
(ohno! then i feel guilty for feeling happy over their not-doing-well T__T)
then again, it's only teasers, not everyone will scramble to watch unlike scrambling to go listen to their songs. so i dunno.
well, i haven't watched it yet, and don't plan to watch it at their official youtube page and add to the views either.

never EVER tired of waiting...

2009-11-06T10:53:00.002+08:00

i think i've figured the song out. there's very little jaebeom in it ):

and there's no jaebeom at all in the new song ):

there're really really doing this without him T___T

at first i thought jyp was being understanding for using the 1:59 concept, until i realised it could be a heartless marketing strategy as well.

and the rumours about the samsung thing... i don't own any samsung products anyway, but if it were real, i'd throw it all into a fire =.=

when can our boys be together and happy again? T__T

i am going crazy.

2009-11-03T18:39:00.004+08:00

I. AM. SERIOUSLY. GOING. CRAZY.

listened to 2pm's 'tired of waiting', and tried very very hard to identify all of them. i TOTALLY FREAKED OUT when i thought there was no jaebeom. to tell the truth, i'm still not 100% sure. the song's swamped with autotune.

cried when i read the lyrics.
wailed when i listened to the song.
wailed louder when i saw there were only 6 people on the album cover T__T
wailed like craaazy when i thought i didn't hear jaebeom.
totally WAILED like there is no tomorrow and as if my heart has been ripped out and torn into one million shreds (though technically it was broken so bad when jaebeom left that there's nothing left to break) when i realised i couldn't 100% identify all of them.

T_T

give me a break, jyp. i have A levels to study for.

i think...
i still support the boycott.

and i am not at all curious to see them perform live to find out who actually sings what and to hear them sing it live without the autotune, because i seriously do not want them to promote without jaebeom.

and how can we make them to sing a song with lyrics like that on stage under the current situation!

well, anyway rumours that 'tired of waiting' is not included in the album. (!?!?!?)

i have no idea what they are trying to do.

jype.... i am speechless.

there's news that ~~2pm~~ 1:59pm has been doing lots of CFs secretly, without jaebeom.

i dunno what they're trying to do.

and the second countdown...
i so do not look forward to it.

i am so going crazy.

blanket! blanket!

2009-11-01T20:09:00.001+08:00

it's 0-3 degrees Celsius in korea, and 7-12 degrees Celsius in seattle!!

blanket!!! >.<

SHOCKKK.

2009-10-29T00:16:00.002+08:00

1. _PM's album release date as of now is... my A levels starting date T_T whyyy.

2. jokwon got swine flu omg!

like, seriously wailed...

2009-10-23T09:53:00.003+08:00

right. i'm just about ready to go crazy.

~~2PM~~ 1:59PM/6PM is going to release a new album in mid-november???

with or without jaebeom???

righttt. good job, JYP. good luck on your sales then.

2009-10-19T13:03:00.002+08:00

first, let me announce my absence from this blog and online activities for an unknown extended period of time, until either 1. my laptop is fixed or 2. i get a new computer. let me not get started on the disaster of my laptop crashing the night before my portfolio submission at 11pm.

next, i am here to share something so unbelievable that i must share it:

for goodness' sakes, this is singapore! and they did it! i am very much impressed and touched! they did it at orchard eh! and the best thing is, jet star was having a promotion, and THEY LENT THEIR SPEAKERS TO PLAY THE SONG like omgzxzxzxzxzxzxzx. *spazzes and dies* and i thought the jay walk last time was impressive enough.

2009-10-11T01:42:00.003+08:00

just watched 2PM fancams of the dream concert... T_T

if not for the fact that jaebeom wasn't there...it was such an amazing performance!
and, the rest of them didn't cover any of jaebeom's parts at all, singing or dancing, and they left such huge gaps on stage! like saying, 'look! jaebeom's place is here!' even in between the songs, when there was a super short part when junsu talked about two sentences, there was a space in the center, then 3 on the left 3 on the right. maybe it was intentional? maybe it was subconscious? either way, they are <3<3<3

and. the fans. by this i mean the other fans from other fanclubs. there were very little hottests there cos of the boycott, but the other fans from the other fanclubs showed so much love for the boys!! other artists have their own fanclubs cheering for them right, but when 2PM came out the WHOLE audience cheered for them!! fancams quality are a little bad, but i had the impression that when the music started, everyone was screaming so loudly than they upped the volume of the music! (cos again & again starting quite soft) and the audience chanted "park jaebeom! park jaebeom!..." before the song and during the chanting parts, and they sang along too!! and they cheered so loudly for the individual boys too!! see! everyone is rooting for 2PM and jaebeom!! quite touched by the love and support.

10/10

2009-10-10T21:43:00.002+08:00

today is 10/10, 10 out of 10 day!

today is also dream concert, where ~~2PM~~ 1:59PM performed.
i've seen some pictures, and heard the audio for again & again so far. they danced their normal dance, with a huge hole in the center. and they played all of jaebeom's parts in the background track, no one sang in place of him.

they give me hope <3

2009-10-08T23:11:00.000+08:00

it's been one whole month since jaebeom left T_T

2009-10-05T22:26:00.002+08:00

I've been watching a few Chuseok specials (hehe ><) and... there were quite a few 2PM references!

Like, After School did Again & Again, and Boom did Abracadabra with a random Niga Mipda ending (Boom! <3) and in Super Junior's Tell Me Your Wish dance where they incorporated many other dances randomly, there was a Niga Mipda move! My favourite, the chorus hopping/shaking one! 2AM's Hot Issue had some move which i dunno whether is Khun's tummy rub move in Again & Again...

It's a little like, since 2PM are not there personally, the other artistes are making sure people don't forget them...

And dear Sunshine Jokwon and Ongseul Ongong did Abracadabra! But they did the original version, not the Dirty Eyed Girls version.
Can i choose to read it as they are saving their own version to perform together with 2PM only? <3

dear moon lady, i have a secret wish...

2009-10-03T20:38:00.005+08:00

something seems to have happened...but i have no idea what.
i dunno if it's anything serious... ~worried~

it's mid-autumn festival/mooncake festival/the day lindo married tyan-yu/the day ying-ying lost herself/chuseok today! i wish all of 2pm are celebrating in peace.

i really really want to send the blanket!

listening to this makes me want to cry T_T

2009-10-01T22:29:00.002+08:00

#i come online feeling nervous again :/

#i am slightly appalled at myself! i've spent four useless days at home doing nothing! waking up at 10 plus everyday, watching tv etc... and my portfolio....... *guilty look*

#tmr is school and i think i will get back everything.

#today i learnt that if you want to go on secret dates, you must keep a lookout for kenneth! and don't let him see you!

#see waner! i told you! next time consult me only enough!

#i will not eat the caramel macchiato cake at coffee bean again.

#this is the first post in a very long time that has more daily happenings than 2pm news. that's because i haven't checked the news yet *nervous*

#i wanted to do a "my favourite moments from wild bunny" thingy... but i decided to do my work!! surprise surprise!!

#lately i've been wondering if it's a little disrespectful of me not to refer to the 2pm boys as 'oppa', after all they are all older than me. but it seemed a little awkward... and i always call them 'boys' as if they are younger than me, but then again, i can't find another word to use! and they are boys what!

#i suddenly feel like i really want to send a blanket to wooyoung...oppa.

#i am going to check news now then do work! *hopes very VERY hard*

2009-09-30T23:26:00.002+08:00

rumours flying everywhere again. ): which has gotten me very worried again... about jaebeom and his little lunch meeting with jyp... as well as the other six of them ):
ahhh junsu nichkhun taecyeon wooyoung junho chansung, how are you all doing? i have no idea and i'm worried >< people like us can watch wild bunny and be (wistfully) happy and forget the unhappiness momentarily... but can they? ): and they are just innocent boys chasing their dreams....... heartache!

2009-09-29T22:57:00.005+08:00

if i put it off anymore, i will forget to blog about our meet-the-astronaut day! just like how i never posted my june holidays post O_O

my wonderful eating habits: syrup on pancake+butter on top+more syrup! :D

this one's night mode.

this one's night mode+flash.

hahaha i just had to take so many pictures of it. (:

(ameline, i hope i didn't scare sheng by being my normal self aka a weird girl!)

and on the way to erica's house...

what is this!?!?

a ghost appeared when waner took a nap! waner, you missed the ghost!

we spent the time watching f1, intimate note, wild bunny, soccer, and talked till we slept...at around 4/5? and waner woke up at 7 to leave! i woke up, but i went back to sleep (as usual) and eventually left at 9 plus with aly!

--
of course, everyday is still missing jaebeom day. :/ though thank goodness the korean media reported on the sky banner nicely. but jaebeom is confirmed not going to perform in dream concert... ): but hottests boycotted it already anyway.
oh and jaebeom's church is very nice! they have a church website and they set up this forum for fans to send messages to jaebeom. but! antis have got hold of the website and left hurtful comments, and the church decided to take the forum down ):
i don't understand these antis! why are they biting on to someone who hasn't offended them so hard for so long? do they have so much hate to spare? it's unhealthy! you mean after all the reports, all the explanations, about how the matter was blown out of proportion, about how we should understand how jaebeom was feeling at that time, etc etc, these antis still cannot empathise? i really don't understand how people can be like this. plus, it is a CHURCH website for goodness' sake! how can they leave disrespectful comments! i really really don't understand what they are thinking. ):

2009-09-26T00:55:00.002+08:00

i'm waiting for the "next time"; next time will be 7 all together, it's a promise <3

"he is very upset a good blanket will cheer him up" :D :D :D
aly dreamt that i bought a blanket to send to wooyoung in korea! <3 hahaha. i do wish i could do something like that!

2009-09-25T00:48:00.000+08:00

please let it be true! <3

2009-09-23T22:07:00.002+08:00

the situation is getting worrying :/
everything's confusing.

i'm getting really worried for wooyoung... and all of them.
what is happening, what do they face everyday, what are they feeling now, nobody knows!
what will happen in the future.......

sigh. i feel slightly helpless.

on another note, i'm moving at half-speed -.- exams stretched out for 2 weeks is far too long and taxing.

tireddd. (of exams and of the messy situation)

2009-09-21T18:56:00.001+08:00

why is it conspiracy after conspiracy??? to what extent will people go to bring poeple down??? where's the joy in destroying a person's dreams and life, where???

anyways i bought dried mangoes to bring me through studying D:
i promise to study!!! >< please, nothing bad happen anymore!!! ><

by the way, this. wins.

i promise to do my work (x7)

2009-09-21T12:18:00.000+08:00

it's a battle!
run! fight!

2009-09-19T23:04:00.006+08:00

everyday i go online feeling extremely extremely nervous...

but after reading today's news...i'm getting a little more hopeful (:

plus, khottests are really the best!! they are going to do a flash mob (definition on wiki) dancing again & again... which is a very very smart thing to do! *lazy to analyse why it is the smartest thing to do*

keep believing, keep hoping, keep waiting!

and hahahahahaha the ending!

glad to see taecyeon smiling and enjoying the performance!

and. this. is. amazing.

they actually composed this themselves! omggg. touched T_T but so true, the lyrics.
jaebeom! see here! we love you! <3

2009-09-18T17:04:00.003+08:00

so, jyp released a statement yesterday.

JYP's STATEMENT "2PM will continue with 6 members"
Credit: Kirstyn@2pm-online.com, Coordinator: Cassina@2pm-online.com

Hi, this is JYP.

Since Jaebeom’s incident on Sept 5th, I’ve heard many opinions from people.
From scolding Jaebeom, and JYPE to giving Jaebeom a second chance, I’ve carefully listened to it all.

I talked to JYPE staffs, 2PM members, and Jaebeom about our future plans. First of all, although many people have sent their encouraging words to Jaebeom, he hasn’t changed his mind; thinking he made a huge mistake. He said that he is still very sorry and too ashamed to be on the stage. He also told me that since other 2PM members have worked so hard, they should not be affected by this in any negative ways. That’s why he left 2PM so quickly.

I think the same way as Jaebeom. The reason why I didn't stop him from leaving is because I thought whether Jay being in 2PM or not now won’t be that big deal when you look at his life as a whole. Some think 4 years of his hard working has been destroyed, but his skills that were built up in 4 years are still remained in his body.

If Jaebeom receives a chance to grow up and become more mature by this incident, he will be able to fly even further later on. As criticism against Jay was way too harsh, requesting to revoke Jay's resignation is asking for too much as well. It’s my role to respect his opinion wanting to have his time alone apart from the stage, and help him later when he says he wants to be on the stage again.

I think you should give him supports by then. Again, I apologize for not being able to manage and protect him well. We'll try our best to not make this happen again

Thank you again,
2PM will continue their schedule with 6 members as it was planned
JYP

(source: www.jype.com, oneday-room)

personally, i felt that was the most confusing thing i've read in a while, didn't know what to make of it, what he really meant, could be read so many ways, could be approached so many ways, could be interpreted so many ways...

at the same time, i think jyp really really has a way with (sneaky) words, and is the perfect role model for aly!

okay, the parts that mess up my brain: he said 2pm will continue their activities with 6 members, NOT that 2pm has become a 6-member group, can i read it that way? he said he wouldn't revoke jaebeom's resignation, but said that he would help him return to stage eventually?? BUT didn't state whether as a part of 2pm -_- basically his statements addressed every issue fans brought up without really answering the questions... dunno how he does that.

on the other hand, he released a statement like everyone wanted him to! so people are also saying, chill already, and give jaebeom time like jyp said. but then again, this statement doesn't sound much different from his previous statement (not the one i posted, the one after that), which basically = unsatisfactory statement...

causing great chaos of course! since he didn't accept revoking jaebeom's resignation (which was all the fans wanted, really) khottests announced that they will go ahead with boycotting. which in turn earned them lots of criticism, people saying if they don't support the remaining 6 they're not real fans etc. but come on, they did announce from the start they were going to do it if jyp didn't revoke the resignation, and since now he's announcing that he's not going to revoke the resignation it makes sense that they're going to carry out the boycott for real right? they mean what they say.

so basically jyp's statement has effectively caused a great divide among fans and made many many people (me included) really really confused and dunno what action or stand to take next. which is a totally gao1 ming2 trick. (aly! you can bai4 him wei2 shi1!)

have read many many opinions on the matter (when i really should be studying) and decided that there are too many theories and speculations that it's so confusing and i forgot what stand i decided to adopt -.-

some questions/speculations i think are valid:
-consider: the 2pm members themselves or jaebeom have yet to speak up about the matter. *speculates*
-jaebeom's contract? *speculates*
-reason behind jyp's well-timed statement? *speculates*
-comparison with past g.o.d case? *speculates*
-if 2pm gets successful without jaebeom, jaebeom's chances of returning into 2pm? *speculates*
-but wooyoung/chansung/taecyeon spotted looking not as miserable as before? *drowns in confusion*

so many speculations, and as the word itself states, they are merely speculations -_- no one really knows what is really happening at the heart of the matter which is why there is so much heated debate over it and so much confusion and nobody knows who/what to believe and everyone is getting influenced by everyone and whoever has the better persuasion/language skills win/gets their point across more clearly.

but basically, it's like war out there, everybody blaming everybody, everybody pointing fingers at somebody, everybody demanding something from someone and at the root of it, i am extremely extremely saddened that 7 wonderful and innocent boys chasing their dreams had to get stuck bang in the middle of this epic war of the century. it's uncalled for, they don't deserve any of this, and even after the whole matter miraculously blows down eventually, this matter will be a shadow of their past. ): ): ): when they should be sunshine boys enjoying a bright future and clear skies. ): ): ): i feel even more frustrated with the new mess the matter has gotten into, everything is getting more and more tangled and it's a huge knot where everyone is pulling on their end and nobody is giving in or letting go and the knot is getting tighter and tighter and i fear it will reach the stage where it becomes impossible to unknot it, because the 7 of them are trapped in the middle of the knot ):
(sorry, spontaneous analogy. too lazy to read through and edit.)

basically, this matter is giving me a HUGE headache and heartache and i don't even know what i can do now. i just wish everyone would stop fighting.

personally, i agree it's still too soon for jaebeom to return right now, it's ~~only~~ been 2 weeks since the whole matter started. and i bet nobody else can imagine or emphatise how one would feel after unintentionally offending a whole nation. how do you expect him to get over the feeling/thought of every other person on the street hating him? i bet he's still scared -heartache- personally i think we should give him at least one or two months to chill, but the problem is what should fans do in the meantime while waiting for him? The Conundrum of the Century, i swear. if they keep protesting, the other 6 members get hurt. if they don't, jaebeom may not get to return. -_- which is why they wanted jyp's assurance that jaebeom would eventually return into 2pm! i bet it's hurting them having to boycott their own idols too. i wouldn't have the willpower to do it myself. if only jyp gave that assurance, the fans would settle down and support 6-member 2pm while waiting for jaebeom's return, and i bet they'd be willing to wait even years for him to return.

(i'm sorry if my over-excessive use of 'i bet' make me sound assumptuous. i don't know how else to make a point stronger.)

but i guess, at least having given a vague statement, it makes things easier for jyp to handle in the future, instead of a definite statement that he can't change or refute, right? i only hope that the 'in the future' bit will be good news.

i can't do anything much now, except to keep hoping and keep believing.

2009-09-15T21:53:00.002+08:00

okay, though i really should be studying/composing,

JAEBEOM NEWS GOT REPORTED ON WO BAO!

the article is like ....... -.- but i can't quite put my finger on it.

one wrong fact reported is that he said "koreans are stupid". mistranslation.
and they didn't mention how the netizens were involved in digging out those comments, only said the comments "surfaced". and didn't mention it was made during his trainee days when he was having a hard time. and didn't mention it was on his personal myspace.

also don't like how they said fans "threw" cds at the building entrance, why cannot say "returned". and how they said "over 100 police were deployed to maintain order" as if it was very chaotic, why can't they say "stand by".

also having problems with the phrase "forced to quit/return to america"...but shall not expand on this. no time+too complicated+too many rumours/speculations.

at least they got the fans' words and statements quite accurate.

why are they so random to report it now -.-

after attempting to think it through objectively (and stop thinking that the report is reporting bad stuff about him only), the report is actually quite factual and objective. i can't say i like it, but i won't say i don't like it either.

okay, quit contemplating, gp is over! besides, i never do media questions!

2009-09-15T16:09:00.002+08:00

truth be told, i reached home at 11am -_- i shall not go into details of what i have been doing for 5 hours, though somewhere in the middle it included cooking noodles for lunch.

on a completely unrelated (i try) note,
i found the exact performance where wooyoung said "him nae yah ji" to jaebeom.

at around 3:38.

trivia of the day: i studied a grand total of about 2 hours for bio! hurray!
trivia#2: i...haven't started studying chem (either!) for tmr! hurray!
trivia#3: compo.......portfolio.......*strangled cry*....... TT__TT

2009-09-14T21:56:00.003+08:00

i am somewhat ashamed to admit...that my portfolio is uncompleted as of today >< i will try to rush it tonight, but considering tmr is bio paper 2 in the morning, and i have not touched bio since like ct2...die both ways -.-
today's maths paper was horrid, sure get U -_-

and apparently nichkhun is going to stop recording on starking?! sigh ): worried worried worried. jype says that jaebeom has yet to speak up on whether he wants to return to korea. well, they say.

2009-09-14T02:15:00.003+08:00

i'm tired, and tmr's maths prelims, and i haven't ~~finished~~ done my portfolio, at 2am =.= at least my paper's in the afternoon.

and i'm worried.

and wooyoung and taecyeon quit mc-ing inkigayo, and i don't know what's the real reason. apparently the producers didn't really want them to quit, but due to "public opinion" it seemed better to quit, dunno what to make of that.

there're so many opinions/rumours/heard-somewheres/insider-infos lurking around i dunno what i can trust anymore. i've never had to take things with a larger pinch of salt.
and since the media doesn't know how to do anything but quote netizens, and since netizens' credibility are questionable, 'official' statements don't seem to mean much either.
(yes, i'm displeased.) i just want the truth please.

sometimes i feel like there's hope, but sometimes i feel like everything's in a mess. how did things come to be like this ):

despite, i still believe that good will come out of this mess, everything will resolve nicely eventually.
till then, him nae!!

2009-09-13T17:48:00.000+08:00

in the video wooyoung says "him nae yah ji" to jaebeom, which means "to gather strength" or something like "fighting!"

though judging by jaebeom's hair this is not a recent video, maybe during their promotions for again & again, but seeing this made me cry again T_T

and today wooyoung and taecyeon mc-ed for inkigayo, and today there was the silent protest outside the jype building. about 2000 fans turned up for the protest and there were 100 police in case of emergencies but they were very orderly and civilised. and they plan to put out an advertisement in the front page of tmr's newspaper for jaebeom's return.

haha i dunno why i'm updating all these news everyday like i'm a news reporter -.- i guess i just need an outlet to say these stuff.

tmr's prelims, .......nothing to say. sigh. hope i don't die too badly.

2009-09-13T00:04:00.001+08:00

jaebeom's "last" live performance...but i prefer to believe he'll be back.
broadcasted today, recorded on 5th sept, the day everything started.
as good a performance as any other.

judging by the mike echoes and the lag in the fans' cheers...i think the place is very very very big.

if none of the sad things happened, i'd be saying how nice jaebeom looks with his hair like that, and how i really like watching wooyoung dance. and sing.

2009-09-11T22:17:00.001+08:00

it seemed such a long unending performance that took forever to end ):
taecyeon just seemed so...tired and glum.
it's not that he's not trying, can see that he is trying, but he just seems so distracted that there's no real energy behind his singing and dancing.
and he used to enjoy himself so much performing this song!
when he missed his entry my heart skipped a beat! ): at least he recovered quickly and on beat!
and he didn't take off his sunglasses though he usually does at the last verse. did he forget or just because he didn't want to? couldn't see his face so couldn't see if he was okay. :/
and he didn't smile at the last pose ):

sigh.

this must be really hard for them.

2009-09-11T11:28:00.000+08:00

on the one day i reach the cc before i even wake up on usual days, there's no space! all the tables shamelessly choped by other people, by bags and files and shoebags, not even real people sitting there! tsk tsk. and then perhaps due to overwhelming attendance yesterday, everyone just don't come today! even char wasn't there! so...i went home.

yesterday i couldn't sleep properly, i suddenly got really nervous and couldn't close my eyes, even though i was quite tired and i really wanted to close my eyes and just sleep, but i just spent dunno how long staring into the darkness.

and i found out the rationale behind the boycotting fans. apparently now there're over 200,000 fans expressing boycott and they're even going to have a silent protest in front of the jyp office tmr.
though i was really against the boycott at first, funny enough, i actually understand their point now. according to their explanation, they're not demanding for jaebeom to return immediately, they just want an official statement from jyp that jaebeom is not officially out of 2pm and that he will return EVENTUALLY, after he's rested enough. and they are not boycotting the other boys or any individual events, just boycotting all the group events without jaebeom, like album promotions etc. and because it affects 2pm's future and jyp, it makes it more probable that jyp will keep jaebeom's path back to korea and 2pm very very open. that's what they said.

again, another instance of misunderstanding due to failure to understand people's intentions behind actions.
besides, they must understand the situation there better, and if they believe this is the best action to take, i shall believe in them too.

i just hope jaebeom and 2pm and jyp doesn't misunderstand their intentions as well.

(i have decided to stop calling jaebeom jay. originally i always preferred calling him jaebeom over jay, but in recent days due to my frenzy to type quicker i've chosen to shorten it to jay, but yesterday i read in one of his high school friend's testimonial about how jaebeom never wrote his name as jay on worksheets and stuff, he always wrote 'park jaebeom' and about how he was really really proud when he got his korean ID card/residence card, (i cried T_T) so i shall continue calling him jaebeom. i've always loved how his name sounds anyway. jaebeom jaebeom jaebeom.)

2009-09-10T20:45:00.000+08:00

today i suddenly felt really nervous. i came home and checked the news, and when i saw jyp had released an official statement i almost wanted to die/my heart wanted to drop out/my soul flew out of my body/inserts many other expressions.

on one hand i really wanted to see his official opinion on the whole matter, but on the other hand i was really really scared that he would say something i didn't want to hear. of course i cried when i read it, and there were many others messages to jaebeom like from his manager, stylist, staff at jyp etc. sighs. heart-wrenching pretty much.
and some fans expressed displeasure at jyp's statement because he didn't state what would be the future for jay and 2pm -.- well, personally i think this is not the best time to confirm anything, so just give it a rest and give them time to work things out!

THEN! i found out this really really ridiculous piece of news! some angry fans decided to boycott jype and 2pm products/events without jaebeom in it -.- it's so infuriating and frustrating and annoying that i want to scream.

-why can't they just understand jay needs time to rest and get over this? they're practically demanding/forcing him to come back! when at this trying period it would be better for him to be with his family?
-jay decided to leave because he didn't want the other members to be affected by him, then now they come and do this then what do you expect him to do??? they're giving him a hard place when he already has a rock.
-this is so not the way to show support, if you're a fan of something why would you boycott it??? ever???
-have they ever considered the feelings of the rest of the boys??? they're feeling miserable enough as it is, losing their leader, why make them lose fans?
-they're making the matter more complicated than it needs to be, when it should already be dying down.
-they're giving undue stress to jay and 2pm and jyp and jype, when everyone just needs to take a breather now.
-why is there so much hate going around, we need to spread more love.

because now i've become dubious about posting stuff online, first i apologise if i have offended anyone or have been ungraceful with my words.

next, i wish jaebeom is happy at home, and recovering from this well. and the rest of 2pm to stay strong, and not despair. and i respect jyp for handling the matter he did, and the jype staff for putting up with all the stress.

(because jamie doesn't like me using 'we') i believe in jaebeom and will wait patiently for him till he decides to return, and meanwhile i will continue loving him and 2pm.
things will be better!

2009-09-09T17:43:00.000+08:00

i have these bouts of calm and these bouts of freaking out...what to say, it's like a turbulent storm and you're hiding in your house, and occasionally the door gets blown open and the wind and rain just comes in and your house floods. and during the better times the door stays shut and the storm stays out. you can even walk about your house and do happy stuff. but you can still faintly hear the wind whistling through the window panes.

how to keep my mind on anything when there's a storm brewing.

2009-09-09T13:28:00.000+08:00

it's nothing short of excruciating to see old stuff with jay in it ): when he was still smiling and happy.

2009-09-09T01:44:00.000+08:00

i think i've cried myself dry.

boom, wild bunny production team, hot blood writer & jokwon as of now have all spoken up for/to jaebeom, and i've cried till i cannot cry anymore -.- i need to drink water to replenish my body liquids.

though fans are being very supportive and keep calling for jaebeom's return, it's almost bordering on forcing him to return, which is not exactly right. he needs rest, and to get away from the whole saga for awhile, we should let him go home and rest for how long he needs to, then when he is ready we should let him know we've been waiting for him to return all this while and always will, and welcome him back with open arms. when he's ready. so please let him rest now, people ):

seven minus one equals zero.

2009-09-08T21:42:00.000+08:00

yes, i am going to fail maths and every other subject i take.

after trying to calm down, i won't keep saying 'jaebeom don't go!' anymore.
BUT i only refer to leaving korea. he should go home after all, go back to his family and friends and recover and be happy again.
as for leaving 2pm, -news sinks in again- *FREAKS OUT* -calm down, breatheee!- i trust that the boys will do their best to let jaebeom know that he's really irreplacable. and then he will return.
for the time being, let's just let him rest, and work out and eat mangoes happily.
stay healthy and stay happy! chin up it's not the end of the world you're good and you know it you're worth so much more than that and you know it and you deserve so much better so stop blaming yourself cos nobody's perfect though you're close enough just thought you should know.

-remembers to breathe-

and i hope the other boys are doing well too ): can't imagine how they must be feeling.

okay better stop before floodgates open again. today there was a storm/hurricane/typhoon/monsoon on top of flood.

2009-09-08T16:37:00.002+08:00

i'mcryingsohardmystomachhurtsandallthebloodisrushingtomyheadi'mhyperventilatinglikecrazy
andicannotbreatheeeeeeeee.

cue floodgates open

2009-09-07T20:49:00.002+08:00

i think i now understand what the phrase 'my heart is shivering means'. it's not stopping.

they look so downcast. no 'hello! this is 2pm!' greeting ):

and they're going to lie low for dunno how long will it be.

from 2pm-online/kbites:
It will not be easy for 2PM member JaeBum, who has been criticised for his offending messages written on his MySpace page, to get out of the public eye and criticisms.

With that, JYP Entertainment has gone with the situation, and had decided accordingly not to have JaeBum appear in the media’s eye for the time being.

He will be put on a self-discipline period for the time being.

This will also have a significant effect for the group’s upcoming album to be release early-October. With that JYP’s representative said on 7th September, “For the time being, 2PM will not have any broadcast schedule, and all scheduled events will also be cancelled. But the recording for their album and dance practice will still continue accordingly.”

JYP’s representative also said, “The messages which JaeBum wrote in 2005 on his own MySpace page is just an exaggeration to his friends back in the States. But because of the way and his language of expressing his ideas, he has received many disagreements and unhappiness from the mass public. Currently JaeBum is reflecting on his wrong in the dormitary and he is also skipping meals. He understands the magnitude of his mistake.”

Before this, many netizens are calling for him to be banned from broadcast shows and even from the group.

JYP’s stance:

" Park Jinyoung, representative of JYP Entertainment, has spoken up about Jaebum’s future activities with 2PM. “Although, we feel very guilty and sorry for all the people who have been disappointed by Park Jaebum’s past mistakes, I will not be taking him out of the group. Many people have been suggesting ideas of banning Park Jaebum out of 2PM, but that will never happen. We believe that he has done something wrong, but as a whole, we do not think it is enough to be taking his dreams and goals away from him. This was not a decision made by only the JYPE staff, but it was something all of the fellow 2PM members have agreed to.”

cue floodgates open forever and ever. ): ): ): please eat, jay!

2009-09-07T07:27:00.002+08:00

i'm worried, exhausted, and my eyes feel like they want to drop out ):

2009-09-06T20:53:00.000+08:00

AHHH no i cannot stand it!!! ): 心痛ttm! keep crying how to study! argh.

2009-09-06T20:44:00.000+08:00

right. the jaebeom news just made me cry and cry and cry.
again, back to my point of people not understanding how hard they've worked and just how much effort they put into every single thing they do.
goshhh i need to calm down.

after all, blog is for when there's no one really to talk to, right?

2009-09-05T16:10:00.000+08:00

i'd say, for me, more of admiration, respect, appreciation, worry, and inspirational?
not the same as gushing/raving. i mean, of course i'd have my fair share of that too, but that's just not the basis of it all, for me.
most of the time i'm really just filled with wonder at all they've achieved, heart aches that they're working so hard (sometimes too hard), and really appreciating how hard they're working for everyone (and themselves), so inspired to see them working hard for their dreams and realising their dreams, and really just filled with respect that they're only a few years older than myself.
not just raving because they are shuai or gushing because they are cute. (though i also do that cos they ARE shuai/cute) because what makes them most real is their personalities, and what i like most about them is that they are so real. like real human beings. not pretty perfect idols. real people like you or me, albeit chasing their dreams the best they can.
hence i am vehemently against fanfic of real life people. (and what's with turning a guy into a girl???)

2009-09-02T15:52:00.000+08:00

for the first time in my life i studied for gp! if mugging ks bull (our good friend) for -counts- about 10 hours in total counts.

now...i dunno what to study! to tell the truth...i really haven't started on anything! ...prelims are not important right??? >< (no, it's not!)

2009-08-29T11:53:00.000+08:00

oh by the way, taecyeon reads bleach! :D hoho. so cute! ^^

so...

2009-08-25T23:28:00.001+08:00

does wooyoung catch lizards? hehe.

2009-08-22T15:42:00.000+08:00

my phone just restarted about 5 times consecutively. O_O
blogger spoil again aii.

2009-08-19T23:00:00.000+08:00

omg i have have have to post this!

ultimate cuteness!!! :D :D :D i'm giggling like an idiot now hahaha <3 <3 <3
ahhh they're so cute i wanna cry! ^^

2009-08-17T23:37:00.001+08:00

i was originally a cranky girl tonight, until i chanced upon this gem gem gem ^^

so hot omg! haha :D
i was originally going to watch haruhi to get happier, but on the homepage of youtube this was featured! then i watched it and <3 <3 <3

2009-08-13T22:42:00.001+08:00

as people, we should have unrealistic dreams.

summary skills

2009-08-12T22:14:00.000+08:00

i was too lazy to blog, so to sum up the past week in a few sentences:

# up is a really really nice show, go watch it! (i am not a mantou like aly...hence i cried!)

# attempts to study: staying at home = no work done; but going out to study = one puny page done. hmphs howhow.

# national day parade was really really nice this year! last year i fell asleep watching can -.- and i admit! i said the pledge at 8:22! :D (actually...i say it every year. haha i'm very patriotic okay!)

# 2pm is driving me craazzzyyy <3 <3 <3 haha! ^^ how to concentrate on studying like this! XD

the unfathomables of life #2

2009-08-04T16:22:00.000+08:00

i have earned myself the reputation of having weird taste for all eternity among my friends, but!
i think my friends will be mobbed by angry fans if their comments today ever leaked out! hmph.

the unfathomables of life

2009-08-02T22:34:00.000+08:00

how come something that inspires me so is exactly what's keeping me from concentrating on doing my work.

practising piano till my arms ache? okay that makes sense but, brushing my teeth till my arms ache???

today i lost another quadrapop game due to a phone restart -_- it was 700k plus.

jamie said her blogger healed. well, mine hasn't.

mummy knows sorry sorry :O

perhaps next sunday i shall go out to study. that's assuming i complete my techniques and compo. hmphs.

haven't exercised in perhaps 3 months?

one month left to doom.

why i sleep at unearthly hours

2009-08-01T01:04:00.002+08:00

at least i can still post videos hehe.

2:52 is...ahem. and 4:11-4:21 is...speechless :D

and another one, because wooyoung in white looks like a bai ma wang zi <3

i like things that make me smile :D

2009-07-30T23:52:00.000+08:00

okay, i am officially upset!
after clearing my history and EVERYTHING, my formatting buttons are not back! even when i change browser also cannot! as if it's my account that landiao, not the browser.
and my google chrome was so personalised already! now everything gone! ):

okay, though this is not exactly the time to agonise over a malfunctioning blogger, seeing as i've officially wasted 3 hours now. ):

i want to pon school! ):

2009-07-30T23:17:00.000+08:00

i cannot begin to fathom how i achieve such inefficiency. i've been at my table for more than 2 hours and all i've achieved is drawn a line.

and it doesn't help that there's something wrong with my blogger and all my buttons for add a picture / add a video / compose / edit html buttons all disappeared!

2009-07-30T21:02:00.001+08:00

nostalgia suddenly hit me with a pang. i kinda felt like i've been living a different sort of life these two years, and suddenly i feel like i want to return to my past way of life.

time is ticking...

countdown. (again)

2009-07-26T03:38:00.001+08:00

remember how i used to say quadrapop is the root of all evil? CHANGE THAT.
youtube is the new root of evil =.=
(why else do you think i'm still up at this extremely earthly hour and only read through 2 pages of lecture notes since i got home at 7???)

2009-07-25T20:50:00.003+08:00

jamie don't get angry, but this song is really really the love!!! <3

やきもち!

2009-07-23T23:46:00.005+08:00

today i ate tofu burger!! XD hahah.

went to watch mep concert with peikhee. the concert was at 730 and we finish school at 2 plus... so we studied abit and went shopping at 4! :D hehheh. orchard ion is very very nice! while we were shopping, (not that i bought anything), i had lots of great ideas for prom!! provided they don't prohibit us from wearing black (they shouldn't right) then i sort of know what ~~hideous costume~~ things i want to buy! XD ahh how to fit prom shopping into studying! (by the way, my last paper is on 3 dec, and my prom is on 5 dec, how smart =.=) eventually...we went late for the concert, and i was quite tired from walking...so essentially i took nothing away from the concert today -.-

today i learnt that biggest coincidences of the century can happen at least 3 times.

people keep telling me i will regret. but isn't it exactly because i don't want to regret?
(by the way, endorphins overload won't kill right?)

2009-07-22T22:40:00.003+08:00

i feel tiredd!! though i dunno why, i'm been sleeping obsenely (: woke up at 750 today haha and slept a little during maths extra class and in the afternoon in the library! maybe...i'll wake up at 750 tmr too! :D

today i had the greatest fun of my life since...primary school!
DISCLAIMER: you are about to read some unfathomably crazy stuff, only proceed if you can take it!
it started with me+paul+pangsai getting very high and walking around the canteen as siamese triplets at first. while paul went to the toilet for a while, i snatched some money from pangsai's hand and the crazy fun started!!! how about pangsai threatened to throw coins into my mouth, so i opened my mouth, AND SHE REALLY THREW IT IN!!! then paul came out from the toilet and splashed some water on pangsai, then we both ran away as pangsai went to wash the coin she threw into my mouth -.- then i returned the money i stole from pangsai...by stuffing it down her shirt hahaha THEN! she threw coins down my shirt! but they didn't fall in. then me and paul started trying to throw the coins down pangsai's shirt. and after passing the coins to paul and pretending i still had it and pretending to stuff it down pangsai's shirt, then paul sneak attack! and the funniest thing was, it went down her shirt! so me and paul laughed and laughed and ran away from her! and hid and ran all around like some crazy people.
then...here comes the funnest part. pangsai smartly went back to our table, and kidnapped our bags while we were hiding from her! thanks to paul's better eyesight than me, we kept hiding from her while watching her from far far away! then the funnest part was how we kept squatting down in the middle of nowhere in the canteen! :D hahaha. cos hide from pangsai. it was so funny to see people looking weirdly at us when we randomly abruptly squatted down and started duck walking all over the place to stay out of sight hahaha! so as pangsai was away hiding two of our bags, we went to kidnap her bag and beloved floorball jacket! and tried to find her, but found my bag instead! so we recovered my bag and held her bag in custody! eventually we stopped running all over the place and eventually paul found her bag, and eventually i discovered my file was missing as well, then steven told me it was hidden under newspaper on the table, quite funny!! haha and at the end of it we were like, omg so fun! good game! then we were like, next time must play 2v2, if not 2v1 abit unfair hahaha.
i felt like a kid again :D
(and by the way, paul=pauline and pangsai=siyi(from my class). force of habit to call them that, not that anyone's really named pangsai!)

today i got a big shock when i found out that ___________________! especially so since ________________________! :O

today i found out that some classes in school are being isolated! though it's supposed to be a serious thing, don't you think it's actually quite funny! like, they are seriously isolated in a random corner of the school! the funniest part was when i walked toward kinchun&leongwen&yijie and they were like DON'T COME OVER!!! hahaha. and they have lectures by watching live video feeds! quite fun, no? XD and for food they are supposed to pai4 a few people to buy food back for everyone and eat in their isolation corner! quite...amusing!

today my class finally got the final order to separate the tables in our class ): aww.

OH YES.
today i discovered that the bottom panel of the other door of my cupboard ALSO SPOIL! =.= same problem.

2009-07-21T21:58:00.002+08:00

THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY CURRENT STREAK OF LUCK!!!

a few seconds ago, i broke the chain/hanging part of my tofu! T.T good thing i have spares.

some minutes ago, i discovered that the bottom glass panel of my cupboard unstuck and had been dragging along the base of the cupboard (sliding door) that why i couldn't slide my door smoothly.

a few hours ago, i broke the nose piece of my specs!

oh and today my file broke totally and completely = bought new file -.-

some days ago, my phone spoilt! (but i collected it today, all repaired! :D)

OH WHAT WILL BREAK NEXT???

blogging to put off studying/doing work

2009-07-20T21:57:00.017+08:00

some quotes from mr gooi:
"you don't want to be the only one(s) who didn't get A" -looks at me-
& "you can get into this class is 缘分 okay"

so even though i am practically last in class for music all the time, i guess this means i'm not allowed to give up anyway! buck uppp!

we got our prelims timetable today = imminent doom T.T

i decided (reluctantly) to throw away the flowers i got for Limelight before worms/mould starts growing on them. (i always keep flowers till mould grows on them! :/) besides they're helplessly dead and floppy ):

and look what photo i found!
my signature lollipops! :D

2009-07-19T16:18:00.002+08:00

it suddenly struck me that, come next year, there're going to be many people i probably won't see again for the rest of my life.

this time it's not just about changing schools and saying goodbyes. the guys will go to army, some of the girls will go overseas to study etc, it somehow makes it more keenly felt that we're really going separate ways. even though these are people i've never been exceptionally close with, (after all i WILL keep in touch with my closest friends), mostly acquaintances, but they were after all part of my life before and to think that they will all just disappear from my life is a little unsettling.

and 20, 30... 50 years down the road, will i even remember that these people once appeared in my life? will they remember that i once appeared in theirs?

i think i should treasure time spent with people even more now that the day to say goodbye to everyone doesn't seem that far off anymore.

2009-07-17T20:49:00.002+08:00

i keep reliving the concert in my mind. what i would give to do it all over again.

today i somehow managed to sleep throughout the WHOLE of my maths tutorial. felt quite guilty afterwards. the funny thing was, i was actually dreaming of maths lesson! and a question that my teacher actually went through. O_O maybe i was half-asleep and could hear what she was saying.

and i went to get my phone fixed, after dunnowhathappen and random keys spoil. like the call button and reject call button and backspace button. =.= how about those are quite essential buttons?? then everytime i type something wrongly have to type all over again?? now i'm using my old lg phone, which i forgot how hard it is to type on -.- i predict an exponential decrease in my smsing.

anyway, as i was on my way to the sony ericsson shop (at j8, thankfully), i suddenly realised that i should finish up my quadrapop-game-that-has-been-going-on-forever, in case they have to clear the phone memory! so i played while i was waiting, and LO AND BEHOLD!!! I ACHIEVED A HIGH SCORE OF 1088370!!! count the digits carefully, it's in the millions!!! :D unlike lumines blocks, which has a max score of 999999, quadrapop can play forever and ever! XD now that i know this, when i get my phone back i shall embark on another play-forever-and-ever game and aim to get more than 9999999! :D

oh and my queue number was 1111! (: how coincidental!

and it's over, before you know it.

2009-07-16T23:08:00.004+08:00

i can't believe it's over; it's barely started. ):

i've yet the learn to play the timpani and drum set. (at least not for any official piece)
i want to learn to play the bass drum, and crash cymbal properly.
i cannot play anything with drumsticks for nuts.
i didn't play suspended cymbal for this concert, though i got to play it during syf.
i haven't finished figuring out qweeky properly! or the pandeiro.

i'm missing tamby already. ):

part section photo!

i'll miss everyone greatly! ):
and i'll miss playing very very much!
be sure to take very very good care of tamby and qweeky after i'm gone k! ):

my arms are aching slightly, i presume from carrying/moving perc instruments yesterday.
i don't want these aches to disappear, ever. ): ): ):

--

countdown.

2009-07-13T23:20:00.002+08:00

i am very shi luo! all the messages i try to send out to promote band concert, then almost everybody dao me! ): even my juniors! only one of them replied me! ): ): ): then like everyone on earth (except aly erica waner & nick) don't want to go watch! ): not fun to watch meh?? if it's me i will go!! sigh. tired of asking people alr. don't care alr, as if one day before concert can make people go, anyway got people can sell 29 tickets that kind, so turn up should be quite good!

this is what i did today in class! (during err chem extra class =.=)

classic example of trigonal pyrimidal! :D

zzz i feel like i should have gone for YO concert. bleh.

sometimes, when things are coming to an end, you start grabbing on blindly, holding on and refusing to let go, acting like a fool. :| teach me how to let go ):

okay this has been an incoherent post, shall end off with:

my nose is running though it has no legs ):

2009-07-12T23:25:00.003+08:00

#and so the wind blew, and told me the answer! (sounds so joy luck club-ish!)

#clearly, i am the only sanest one, so waner, next time anything must find me! if i lag in replying, buy time until i reply! :D

#none of you need any knocking of stuff out of your head, except ME!!!

#studying is fail tTUM =.=

#waner says if you love statistics aka prefer stats over pure maths, then you are likely an arts student! (i absolutely ADORE statistics! so...)

#i am going to watch haruhi now! <3

this is what i've been up to in band...

2009-07-11T23:55:00.005+08:00

i am secretly the master of art and balance! :D
these are my creations for the day:

do you spot what's so so amazing about this structure? it's Great Art! :D

4 mallets...

5 mallets...

7 mallets!!! :D

actually i succeeded in making a 9 mallets structure....but then in my attempt to add a 10th mallet, the whole thing collapsed! resulting in:

which is art too! XD

haha, quite cheap thrill, but i'm quite good at it okay! i can balance 2 mallets too! like just standing up, leaning on each other, with no support from either side. next time i take photo! :D

but speaking of band... i can't believe concert is gonna be in like 3 days! though i am really infinitely excited for the concert, at the same time i really don't want the day to come. because that would really signify the end of my band life. and c'mon, i've only been playing for approximately 8 months! i protest! that's not nearly enough! i wanna play moreee ): ): ): aww. i keep thinking, if only i had thought to join band last year, then i would have had more time to play in band, but let's not get started on 'what ifs/if onlys'. at least i can proudly say that i've enjoyed my time in band immensely. ahh stop! what's with this speech like i'm leaving band already! -.- still got concert! concert!!! haha very excited, i think i'm rambling. thankyou those coming to watch! :D i will do my very very best! :D presenting tamby(tambourine) and qweeky(cuica)! <3

--
on another note, i think i really dunno.

2009-07-08T23:46:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WANER LOVE!
"i wanted to be the last person to wish you, so that i will linger in your life forever!" :D

now i am officially the first and last person to wish you on your vvv important 18th birthday!! nv da shi ba bian! you will have a great year ahead!! (: (: (:

(so don't shi-lian! because you still have me! and US! <3)

New Year Resolutions of 2009

2009-07-08T00:20:00.002+08:00

i should be asleep but i forgot to blog about this.

at the start of the year, my CT made us write our new year resolutions and sealed them in a tissue box. and today (or rather yesterday) he returned them to us.

and...i fail the most horribly.

look at some of my resolutions:

(academics)
-to surprise everyone
(cca)
-to achieve balance (pun!)
(family)
-patience is key
(others)
-be good
-resist hyperventilation
-be nice
-learn punctuality
-rediscover perserverance
-delayed gratification

to sum up...i pretty much failed in every aspect ): as you probably can tell -.- all these goals that are so out of character for me that i don't even know where to begin.

ah well nvm.
that's not important anymore, because the me of before and the me of today is different! (haha inspirational speech!)
so...let's focus on PPPS! (which is to be initiated through PPPSIST :D)

waner i love you! but wait, i am not dedicating a post to you yet because i have other plans (:

<3 <3 <3

2009-07-02T17:10:00.001+08:00

today is happy day! (:

2009-07-01T20:57:00.004+08:00

happy _____day! haha.

on happy day, i am happy! :D though ___________&_________________, but it's okay! (:

as for today's chem paper... i just don't want to get into chem focus AGAIN =.=
oh but i must mention. yknow i spent the whole holidays doing about 3 chapters for chem, then yesterday night alone i did 3 chapters in 3 hours -_- in the end also never finish studying, so anyhow did quite a bit... then cannot elucidate and cannot synthesize... sigh.

but i am still happy! :D because today is happy day and i watched full metal alchemist brotherhood and haruhi season 2 and i went to watch abit of bleach for fun just now! haha. and tmr got no paper! so i can sleep in and study for bio! (: yayyay.

news update!

2009-06-30T15:49:00.007+08:00

announcement! i will regrettably be unable to join the TCA club, due to me only knowing how to do probability binomial poisson normal functions and summation questions! and M.I. couldn't prove last part also.
keep forgetting complex numbers was tested and happily didn't study anyway. and all the differentiation and integration anyhow do. everything else dunno how to do.

and instead of studying chem, this is what i've been up to:

an avalanche of shuai-ge photos! so cute ^^ ahahaha <3

(hehheh. because...tmr......is shuai-ge day XD)

2009-06-29T22:35:00.004+08:00

though maths is tmr and i haven't studied much except for statistics and i wanted to get into the TCA club, i went to watch suzumiya haruhi season 2! ^^ and goshhh is it good! haruhi!!! <3

celebration!

2009-06-28T20:38:00.002+08:00

yes i know cts are only about to start and i haven't started studying for tmr's music paper... but even in dire times there are reasons to celebrate!

i spent the day doing my composition!!! like people spend weeks and days on theirs, then i rush out mine in a day =.= 67 bars, 3 movements, 7 pages, in around 6 hours in total. if i even get a decent mark i'd be so so relieved.

anddd for my efforts in studying statistics yesterday, the result is 12 pages of statistics! in the nick/aly pink colour! i spent 8 hours okay! i slept at 3 plus!