i'll wait and wait, feeling miserable, feeling like a fool. then after an infinity of upsetness, something will happen. and because i know something is bound to happen some time or other, i'll be waiting, no matter what. and when something really happens, my heart jumps a million miles into the air instinctively, though i told it not to so many so many so many times. at times like this, it takes me a hell lot of effort to hide the smile forcing its way onto my face. (usually i fail.) i'll take deep breaths trying to regulate my heartbeat (about the speed of when i hyperventilate over edward), but i can't think properly anyway. then it all falls apart at some point or other, whatever the circumstance, it always does. that's when i'll feel like something inside me is squishing up, and i cannot breathe properly. and i so feel like crying. and i know that's because i've been expecting too much from something that had no promise at all in the first place. (and i knew it so clearly.) but, like a fool, craving the high so much that i'm willing to bear with all the lows, (note: there is an infinitely higher percentage of lows than highs) i wait with foolish hope yet again. and again.
and the cycle continues. (dunno what i'm thinking.)
i'll wait and wait, feeling miserable, feeling like a fool. then after an infinity of upsetness, something will happen. and because i know something is bound to happen some time or other, i'll be waiting, no matter what. and when something really happens, my heart jumps a million miles into the air instinctively, though i told it not to so many so many so many times. at times like this, it takes me a hell lot of effort to hide the smile forcing its way onto my face. (usually i fail.) i'll take deep breaths trying to regulate my heartbeat (about the speed of when i hyperventilate over edward), but i can't think properly anyway. then it all falls apart at some point or other, whatever the circumstance, it always does. that's when i'll feel like something inside me is squishing up, and i cannot breathe properly. and i so feel like crying. and i know that's because i've been expecting too much from something that had no promise at all in the first place. (and i knew it so clearly.) but, like a fool, craving the high so much that i'm willing to bear with all the lows, (note: there is an infinitely higher percentage of lows than highs) i wait with foolish hope yet again. and again.
and the cycle continues. (dunno what i'm thinking.)
jo-
cries,
spams,
whines,
hyperventilates,
melts,
sublimes,
fan-girls,
goes hysterical,
is ultimately inefficient,
oversleeps,
and eats bread.
<3 st nicks
parmalat!
2pm
anime
floorball (though i'm not in it)
wind chimes
bass guitar
kajiura yuki
artemis fowl
fantasy
coffeebean mocha.latte.blackforest.cake.
spiders
showers
honour roll-
ion (my double bass)
tamby! (my tambourine)
cassandra black
marmalade heart
hakuryu v 1.3 (my phone)
millefeuille (my revived laptop :D)
caramel (my piano)
mantoushoutaomomo (the Lala)!
crabstick Ang ku kueh (the Splurge)!
koroke, (the takoyaki-flavoured tofu (no longer) hanging on my spoilt phone)
